Valleys and Troughs

Bear Gryllls raw animal medley, including the infamous goat testicle.

One of our favorite aspects of Man vs. Wild, and the reason we'd pick Bear Grylls above Survivorman Les Stroud any day of the week has always been the stiff-upper-lip British pluck with which he will eat literally anything he finds, be it living, dead or of indeterminate status. Stroud's greatest claim to glory is that unlike Bear, he allegedly does all his own camerawork. Which does impress. But would he give himself a fetid-water enema if trapped on a raft in the ocean? We can't say for sure. But Bear Grylls would. The best part of the above video is the glimpse of the crew's perspective - "definitely needs... more garlic." If we ever find ourselves trapped in a remote wilderness, we will only momentarily hesitate before chomping down on some goat balls. Oh, and the fetid-water enema, just in case:

VALLEY?

This is how the World Ends.

From ctrl+alt+del comes artist Tim Buckley's vision of the apocalypse: a pirate robot fighting a ninja zombie riding a t-rex. Yep. That pretty much covers everything.

VALLEY

Horrible things lurking at the bottom of the ocean filmed, for whatever reason.

That's an oarfish, and lucky for the clowns in the picture, it's a dead one. Up until now this is the only way these things have been seen, either washed up on shore or floating belly-up in the waves. But scientists working in the Gulf of Mexico have captured what is believed to be the first footage of the oarfish, which can reach lengths of 17 meters - that's 55 feet to us non-metric users; go ahead, do the math - alive and in its natural habitat. Namely, the bottom of the ocean. The footage was recorded by a remotely operated vehicle, or ROV, under the direction of Mark Benfield of Louisiana State University working in conjunction with, of all people, a group of oil companies "such as BP, Shell, Chevron and Petrobras working in the Gulf of Mexico." Filming in the vicinity of an offshore oil platform, Benfield caught footage of the oarfish purely by chance:

"We saw this bright vertical shiny thing, I said 'are they lowering more riser?' as it looked like they were lowering a huge pipe."
"We zoomed in a little bit and we said 'that's not a riser that's a fish!'"
"As we approached it retreated downwards swimming tail first in a vertical orientation as the ROV followed," Professor Benfield explained.

The BBC has the story as well as the video, which might as well be the inside of somebody's fish tank, as clear as it is. Still, we can't help but be moved, and not in a pleasant way, by a development such as this. We've always been wary of what lies hidden in the murky depths of " target="_blank">the ocean, and the knowledge that fifty-foot fish that "provided the basis for the sea serpent myths told by early ocean travellers" are swimming around down there doesn't exactly set our minds at ease. For more along these lines, see this chart, also by BBC, illustrating the various monstrosities populating the seafloor or "beyond the abyss," as they choose to call it. Keep an eye out for favorites like the hairy angler, below:

Yeah. Pretty much the stuff of nightmares. As always, we will think long and hard before we step foot into that ocean again.

very deep TROUGH

Exotic Woman of the Day: Janina Gavankar.

America's own Janina Gavankar. Of Indian and Dutch descent, but we're sticking with Indian.

Astute readers will recognize Janina as The League's all-important Shiva Kamini. If you're not familiar with The League, you no have nobody to blame but yourself. Needless to say we'd have no problem with her likeness being emblazoned on trophies everywhere. We re all about Shiva.

VALLEY

NASA's Puffin concept not quite a flying car, but still awesome.

We've long considered the greatest disillusionment of adulthood to be the realization that we will not likely live to see flying cars (if anyone ever will) as promised so often in our youth and discussed here before. Yet NASA refuses to let the dream wholly die, and if their latest incarnation of the personal flying machine isn't quite what we had in mind, we're not exactly going to split hairs. And so we have the Puffin:

The Puffin is something of a personal V-22 Osprey, complete with vertical-takeoff and landing capability (but minus the squad of
Marines). But rather than tilting the rotors forward for horizontal
flight, the whole craft -- cockpit and all -- pitches forward, meaning the pilot flies from a prone position. During takeoff and landing the tail splits into four legs that serve as landing gear, and flaps on the wings deploy to keep the aircraft stable as it lifts and descends.

Let's be clear about this. We are completely behind this effort, and believe wholeheartedly that anything which brings us closer to personal, everyday flight is a major step toward the pinnacle of human achievement. And with a theoretical top speed of 300 miles an hour and a maximum altitude of 30,000 feet the Puffin, at least in concept, is formidable. But it's really more of a miniaturized helicopter than an actual flying car. This is a delicate but significant distinction. Flying cars are sleek, they are round, one operates them as one would a car that is simply not at the mercy of gravity. To wit:

This is of course one of countless fictional incarnations of the flying car, but it's a fairly true representation of what we're looking for. And we know we're not alone in this. Whether or not NASA's vision of the flying machine is a stepping stone on the path to realizing our dreams remains to be seen. We can only hope that in the future toward which we are going, we won't need roads.

VALLEY?

via popsci

Scientists announce finding new "super-earth" for the win.

It always astonishes us when we come across news like this and find that it hasn't resulted in mass hysteria or the founding of new religions. Or at least more media coverage than is devoted to how many women Tiger Woods has had sex with. A super-earth! Have we not collectively dreamed of finding something like this since the dawning realization that the universe did not, in fact, revolve around our own planet? We have. The details:

Astronomers have discovered a new Earth-like planet that is larger than our own and may be more than half covered with water, according to a study published Wednesday in the science journal Nature.
The so-called "super Earth" is about 42 light years away in another solar system and has a radius nearly 2.7 times larger than that of our planet, according to the study by the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics.
The discovery of the planet, called GJ 1214b, represents a "major step forward" in the search for worlds similar to the Earth, added the University of California's Geoffrey Marcy in a commentary also in Nature.

Jaysus. There are all sorts of reasons why researchers are hesitant to imagine that life may exist on the euphoniously named GJ 1214b, including estimates that the surface temperature ranges upwards of 500 degrees fahrenheit. Yet the density of the planet suggests that it is made up of about 75% water, which is encouraging. The research also points to "tantalising hints that the planet has a gaseous atmosphere." Man. That actually is pretty tantalizing. We certainly aren't alone in believing that nothing represents all the glorious possibilities of our existence more than finding life somewhere outside of earth, and findings like this are encouraging at the least. Now pardon us while we take to the streets to indiscriminately set cars on fire.

VALLEY for all mankind.

via yahoonews

Morning Marginalia: Lamborghini Ankonian concept.

Because it is just so beautiful and it looks more like the Tumbler than any car we've ever seen, we point you to a new concept designed by Slavche Tanevsky for Lamborghini, the Ankonian.

Even if it never gets made, someone out there is moving things in the right direction. Good times.

VALLEY

via askforcars

Exotic Woman of the Day: Georgia Salpa (with special guest).

Ireland's own Georgia Salpa. Model, Irish. Awesome.

Astute readers will no doubt notice that in the above photo Georgia is recreating a famous Megan Fox pose from a few years back. And because we are tireless in our devotion to the scholarly pursuit of such matters, we provide you with the original, solely for academic edification:

Man. It's a difficult job we do, wearying and thankless, but it gets us to sleep at night.

VALLEY. Big-time.

Space tourism. Yeah, that's happening.

We've long believed that money can in fact buy happiness, and now we know its price: $200,000. Richard Branson, British Virgin frontman and unapologetic megalomaniac, is the kind of guy we can really get behind: fabulously wealthy, but with a magnanimous desire to fulfill the fantasies of entire generations and get rich doing it. Basically Batman without (as far as we know) the vigilantism. Five years after Branson's SpaceShipOne became the first privately-owned vessel to reach space (where does the time go?), commercial space flight is a beautiful reality. Late Monday (or early Tuesday, we can't be sure. It's England), Virgin Galactic unveiled SpaceShipTwo, the craft that - for a small fortune - will bring you to the stars. Or at least fairly close:

At 60-feet long, with both windows and overhead portholes, it will seat eight people — two pilots and six passengers — who will experience about five minutes of weightlessness. At maximum altitude, astronauts will be able to see the curvature of the Earth, a view that until now only few people have been able to experience.

Hard to believe. We point out pretty often here the disparity between what we were promised as children - flying cars, jetpacks, etc. - and what is actually available in the endless tedium that is daily life. A $200,000 price tag notwithstanding, commercial space flight is a pretty monumental step in the direction of our dreams. One might almost say a giant leap, if one was so inclined. Man. Good times.

VALLEY

via TimesOnline

Morning Marginalia: Epic films revisited.

Dr. Grant catching the eye of the T-Rex here (they can't see you if you don't move) is part of a pretty outstanding collection from Empire magazine, in which they celebrate their twentieth birthday by recreating scenes from blockbusters of the same period. Seeing Jurassic Park on the big screen when we were ten years old left an indelible mark on our psyche, and we applaud both empire and Sam Neill for plunging us once again into that era when dinosaurs ruled the earth. And because we are unabashed fans, here's a little of this too:

The rest of the gallery is pretty fantastic. Highlights include Mel Gibson as William Wallace (which very narrowly lost out to the above, we just love Viggo and the fact that he probably carries the sword with him everywhere he goes) and the Governor reprising T2. Not sure how Empire got them all lined up. One hell of a birthday party.

VALLEY